Here For You

God, the true Confidant. Knowing God is there and knowing God are two different things. 30 years ago, I was raising children, baking bread and trying to be the perfect Mother and Wife. I thought I was doing good. That lasted 8 years. Then, I became depressed, lost, and weak. Instead of clinging to God for strength and guidance, who I knew was there. I ran. Firstly, I separated from my husband and slowly from my children. Moving to a life full of unbearable sin. My new life included a 20-year prisoner who got out of jail and moved in with my innocent babies, and a very messed-up version of me. After a 5 years of a bad relationship with him, I ran to a life full of immorality. 

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My children were badly damaged, and my life was falling apart. Three months into starting serious life style choices. I had no rent money to shelter my babies, no food to feed them, no love left in me to give and I was broken, beaten down and the weakest I have ever felt. Until one special morning, I woke up and started walking around my block, looking up at the sky, thinking and crying out, “God, you left me, you forgot about me!” That very day, someone at my sister’s work asked how I was doing. After work, she found out quickly. After that, maybe a week later, my children and I were in a new home, safe and with a new start. 

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God didn’t forget about me or leave me; I just stopped talking to Him. He was actually waiting to hear from me because He has plans for me. I just didn’t know what it was at the time. From then on, I started growing closer to the Lord every day. Talking to Him every moment of every day, and an amazing and powerful experience of the Holy Spirit happened. When I begged God to forgive me for what I had done to my sweet babies, husband, and myself, and to please come into my life and stay, the Holy Spirit filled my body. The feeling was a physical lightness and tingling all over my body. My arms began to rise, and I was in shock, amazement, and awe with the overwhelming feeling of peace and love. I stopped using narcotics cold turkey with two mishaps. The second one was with someone who had been using it for 30-plus years and said he had never seen anyone throw up. I believe it was because I was filled with the Holy Spirit, and the substance was rejected out of me. Thank you, Jesus.

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From there, my life took another turn. Struggling with low self-esteem from the abuse in my childhood, I spent the next 5 years looking for love. Not knowing my Heavenly Father’s love is the only love I needed. He slowly worked with my heart and healed me from the pain I was in emotionally. Cleaned my mind, filled me with love and patience, and placed a desire in my heart to serve Him. That was in 2013. I have grown so much since then, and God continues to help me repair the damage I caused to my children. Living life with God was the best choice I made because God is good, and my life is now filled with so much joy. 

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So, now that you know a little about me, I believe that with the many interesting life moments I have had, I think I could be of some help to you. Let's chat. 

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If you ever just feel like talking with someone through email, let me be your personal confidant. It's why I be here for you.​